Today I have tried to come up with a list of things that are worse than being home with the flu. It surely must be an incomplete list, but it is a difficult thing....since there isn't all that much that really IS worse than being sick with the flu.

So...here's a start.

1. Dying.

Lost.

It is a strange thing, how God works in our lives, the unusual tactics He uses to speak to us, the surreal happenings that, if not explained by His miraculous ways, would otherwise be creepy. I say this, because today God had an entirely new perspective on what my quiet time was going to look like.

I arrived home from another day of BSN meetings with a long mental list of everything that needed accomplishing tonight. My day had started at six a.m. It was now six p.m. The meetings had lasted from 9-5:30. However, my list of things to do had not been shrinking, and I was determined to do the one thing that would make me feel like I was a contributor to the world, and not a lazy bum.

Do something. Anything. As long as I could feel as though an item on my list was scratched off, or at the very least chipped at, I would be able to go to bed satisfied.

"I want you to watch an episode of Lost with me." There was no mistaking His voice.

"Now? If I watch it now I will get out of the work zone and be lazy the rest of the evening. I have really a lot of stuff to do."

"I want to cuddle with you and watch an episode of Lost." Oooh....Lost....??? It took a few moments of reluctant guilt before I decided to go along with God and obey this enjoyable direction.

The episode of Lost I watched was from the first season, titled White Rabbit. It was about stepping up to leadership, letting go of past experiences and realizing you are in a new place as you work together in a team. Work alone, you die. Work together, and you'll thrive.

My entire day of staff training had been about team building, stepping out of your comfort zone, and learning to work together and as a leader.

It was one of the surreal moments. "Did you REALLY just use Lost, my current source of relaxation (besides Caleb) to teach me a huge spiritual lesson?" I wrote it down, in His words.

"You need to let go of the past to be a good leader. The past hurts. Lay it down. Step up and take your tasks so that you can be a strong leader and team member. You're ready for this."

God, you are so beyond the normal idea of awesome. You blow me away with your creativity in your relationship and communication with us, Your children. I am in awe of the fact that You take a quiet time and turn it into innovative quiet time fun. You are a brilliant friend and mentor. I love you.

Test of Obedience.

I had every intention of driving home.

"I think," God said, "We should go to a park."

"We should?" I mulled this over as I rolled down the windows to enjoy the chill spring air.

"....Tenney Park? Are we to have some quiet time?"

"Yes. And yes."

I sighed. If nature and fresh air was what He was looking for, there was plenty of that far more conveniently located than Tenney Park. However, the suggestion remained implanted. Tenney Park is one of my favorite parks of the few I have been to in Madison. It lays along Lake Mendota, with a pier stretching far out into the water, like a little rock and cement peninsula. Large boulders surround the cement pier itself. I immensely enjoy scampering on boulders.

So, I went. A few wrong turns and some twenty minutes later, I pulled into the muddy parking area. "A test of obedience," God murmured to me as I arrived. I noticed to my left a man sitting in a junky car staring at me. While emptying my bag, hiding my computer, and finding a snack in my glove box, I glanced up at him now and again. Each time, his eyes remained impassively upon me.

God directed me to a path that rimmed the still icy water. Gulls and ducks caused a cacophony that calmed rather than distracted. In spring such sounds are welcome relief to the dead winter.

There was no mincing words as I walked with God along the sand. "You," He said, "are no longer a child. You are going to grow up. You are ready for this." More followed in a rapid succession of reminders, instructions, and encouragements.

As an ending flourish to such candor, He stated, "You can go back to the car now."

A test of obedience...my bright red shoes scuffed themselves on the pavement as I nipped across the street back to my car, three steps ahead of a mini-van. I looked up. And who should I see, staring at me just as before? The odd little man. He was perched on the hood of his car in an almost feminine pose, hands clasped daintily on his lap, and legs crossed at the ankles.

"It would be just like You," I prayed silently, "to have me talk to Him." I felt God smile. And then....

"Do you have a cigarette?" the odd little man asked.

"No, I'm afraid not. Sorry." He accepted the reply with a nod that seemed to say, 'I rather expected not'.

"Give him your Bible instead."

"For real?" I knew it. I knew it!

God repeated. "Give him your Bible."

"But it's my tiny ESV from Becki and Tim, " I objected, "All my notes from China and Japan are in there! Their little loves notes are written in the cover! There is a picture of Becki and I glued in there, for heavens sake."

His resolve was unmoved. I hesitated a moment. I admired the pretty purple designs. And knew it wasn't mine anymore. Half in and half out of my car, I turned, and was this time not surprised to find him staring at me. His curiousity heightened as I walked to him and held out a tiny purple book. My favorite Bible.

"I don't have cigarettes, but would you take this instead?"

His green fingerless mitts reached out. "Bible?"

"Yeah. I took it with me on a missions trip to Asia last summer. I feel like you're to have it."

It opened. "Oh. There's a picture of you in there."

"My sister and I. She bought it for me before I left."

Suddenly, he began to talk. He explained that his daughter and her boyfriend had gone to find some gas. He'd been waiting with the broken down car for quite some time, but was sure his daughter would be back soon. "I'm homeless," he said, "but my daughter is letting me stay with her off and on. I'll give the Bible to her."

I asked if I could pray for him, but he quickly demurred. "But I'll give the Bible to my daughter."

"I had thought," I prayed as I drove away, "that going there would result in something for me."

"Test of obedience..." God said, "wasn't this better?"

Perfectly Adorable Boys

“Did you know that Monday is our four month anniversary?” Caleb announced chirpily. Caleb always sounds chipper. It is just his way.

“I did. What romantic thing shall we do?” I sat on the stairs with a joyous plop. “Can we be romantic when we are broke?”

“Why yes!” Caleb said. And then he said this poem to me, in a most dramatic, romantic way. Just like this….

Your eyes are deeper than the depths of the sea

But they are full not of water,

But of beauty

And of mystery.

You are like a…

A rose!

You are like an unattainable rose at the top

Of the highest mountain

Many have sought to pluck this rose

But have failed.

…Miserably.

But hark! A prince!

A prince climbs to the top of the mountain!

Plucks the rose!

Stares deep into it’s beauty

And states,

(Both heroically and romantically)

I have won and you are mine.”

Perfectly adorable boys prance about their rooms as they come up with beautiful poetry on the spot for their princesses.

I have a perfectly adorable boy.

Day One

It has all begun...!!!

After a whirlwind of activity this morning and afternoon as BSN staff had our first day of staff training, I have come home, done my homework for the evening, and now collapsed on my bed. And here I am.

Last weekend, I moved into a lovely large house on Twinflower Drive. My sister and her husband Tim have taken me in as the new upstairs roomie, where I have domain over my space--and my own bathroom! (The joys of such a thing are truly magnificent.) I spent the first week here cleaning ferociously, nestling into my rooms, and preparing for the first week of Bible School for the Nations staff training in YWAM Madison.

Staff training will last for another two weeks. Then, on Easter weekend, we will receive our students! We have quite a collage of ethnicities so far. One from Uganda, one from Haiti, one from Canada, one from Minnesota, and one from England. There are also two Koreans in the midst of the application process, and several others still considering.

So, here I am! First day under my belt.

And tomorrow is rapidly on its way!

The Oriole Nest

The Oriole Nest

I have a new home.

It is like an oriole nest, I tell my sister.

Three walls are bright orange.

One wall in dark chocolate brown.

And sometimes it makes me wonder

If there is any chocolate to be had

For eating. Instead of staring.

My oriole nest is above two love-birds

Their names are Becki and Timothy O’Brien.

That is my sister.

She creates magic in her mind and fingers.

I love thunderstorms.

She loves rainbows.

But she loves Timmy most.

My oriole nest is snug and sweet.

The sweetest bits are two photos.

One on my desk.

One on my shelf.

I miss my perfect prince.

(I have an amazingly perfect prince.)

His name is Caleb.

My oriole nest has two large windows.

My bed lies right beneath them.

I watch the sunrise make the world yawn.

I watch the sunset wick the color away.

From everything.

Except my oriole nest.

That stays orange. Orange and chocolate!

I have a new home.

It is like an oriole nest, I tell my Lord.

Three walls are bright orange.

And one chocolate brown.

Together, my Lord and I watch each sunrise

And each sunset.

Together, we miss my prince

And write him letters.

He tells me that He loves my oriole nest.

And I admire his sun.